(Reposted for posterity, originally featured on fellow writer/blogger Jeff Beesler's blog)
Your carefully crafted epic sits in your sweating hands. Its heavy tome screams massive battles, earth-shattering magic, and a story as unique as you are.
Here are the Top Ten reasons your book will kick Tolkien’s ass.
10. Amazon will magically put my masterpiece on their front page.
9. Everyone I know will drop their jobs, kids and chores to buy my book.
8. I quit my job so I can write full time.
7. My mom said it’s good.
6. All of my Twitter followers will finally take me off of their “Don’t Check” lists.
5. Everyone that reads my book will love it...and leave a review, actually they’ll leave 2!
4. Typos? What typos?
3. Everyone I give my book away to for free will read it.
2. I practiced my signature a hundred times.
And the #1 reason why I’m the next Tolkien is...
Publishing my first book was the hard part. #2 will be easy.