Monday, November 17, 2014

How NOT to Move Cross-Country.

We learned a lot about moving over the last couple years. I'll tell you the secret to moving happiness: don't.

Just don't.

Oh, sure, if you're single, have no kids, it's a snap. It can even be fun to move into a new space and figure things out. Pick out curtains and a cool new chair that goes just so in the corner. But as a parent with little kids...you have been warned.


In the struggle, we first tried using a moving service that loaded our boxes and furniture and drove it out to Texas. Was great, except for 3 things: the cost, the ridiculous need to box EVERYTHING (that means no bags, nothing, nada, just boxes), and the need to track every box that came off the truck. Annoying enough to make a man swear off of the experience.

"I'm packing the truck myself, next time," I declared with fire in my voice. As luck would have it, I have lived to regret those words.

The highlights on the Great Texan Hill Exodus of 2013:
-Several thousand calories in grease and cheese.
-Couple gallons of a volatile mixture of Frappuccinos and Monster Energy Drinks
-No sleep, packing boxes and filling a truck for 48 hours straight (my fingers were numb for weeks after)
-A solid ten minute nap right before the taxi drive to the airport—one of the fastest ten minutes of my life and the most grueling naps to ever have to rise from

We’ll never do that again. But we are happy to be in the fantasy land of Portlandia.

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